hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I did not marry a roomba.
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