when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
