btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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