I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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