ugly people sure do ruin things
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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