you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Congratulations! We have a period
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
