Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
