Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
How's work?
Spinning.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
