apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
