I am puke
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
