Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
