Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
