Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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