You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize