I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
