R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
