Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
