I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
