The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
