Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
