he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize