I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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