I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
