420 ftw
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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