My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
