Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
