i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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