WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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