The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
