What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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