and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
