Kiss
Puke
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
