It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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