so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
