the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Randomize