I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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