Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
