It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
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