He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
