Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
