just come out here and I will go home with you...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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