do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
