hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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