I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
