Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
