The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
