I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize