dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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