what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
