Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
you never un-have a 4some
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
