Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
