just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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