I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
