Do you still have your period?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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