absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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