Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
