also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
