this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
