That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
