dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
