He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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