What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
