all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
