Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
