I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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