Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
