U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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